I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
