This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize