Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
