i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
smell my finger.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
