I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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