She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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