We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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