i'm lost and i look like a hooker
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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