I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
