he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
