I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
