Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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