fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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