yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
