At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
