Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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