she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
