I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
