I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
