know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
