remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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