I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize