what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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