this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
