no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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