I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
