dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
