How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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