my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
