Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
