you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
