This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
