He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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