Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize