nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
