I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
