You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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