can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
