ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
