We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
