weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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