thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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