Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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