come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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