When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
