What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
