Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize