Kiss
Puke
Its about making memories worth repressing
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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