i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
