3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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