i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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