he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
