Operation Purity has been aborted
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
