Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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