Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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