He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
