hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
