i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
