Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
