she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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