Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
