Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
