all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Success! We fucked roommates!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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