watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
