so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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