Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
