This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
